I was born in 1971, so at the time of writing this I am 45 years old, and I now know I have to give up alcohol. The hard part is I don’t want to. I would much prefer to be an occasional drinker of moderation.. i.e. one or two drinks occasionally, but I realise I can’t do it. I have been trying that for the last 16 years. I know I will never be able to control the alcohol it will always control me.
I haven’t always been a heavy drinker… correction, I haven’t alway been a daily drinker but have always been the person who will end up smashed at a party. I easily go past the point of no return, the point where all rationality goes out the window.
At present not many people I meet would be aware I have a drinking problem until I am in a social situation and they notice the way I dipsomaniacally start knocking back drink after drink. I am what you would call a functioning drunk. I write several other blogs including one on our travels as full time cruisers. I love to cook, snorkel, hike and sail. I don’t sit around drinking all day but I drink way too much to be healthy. I am about 20kg heavier than I should be, and I now have high blood pressure. I have injured myself while drunk, I have embarrassed myself, I meet people I don’t remember the next day. I have conversation with people I don’t remember.
Do you know what it is like when someone…. almost a complete stranger approaches and says to you… “what was that you told me to put on my infected cut last night?” How embarrassing! Umm who are you?
I am sick of waking up the next morning feeling like I can’t face the world. Not remembering what I did the night before. How embarrassed should I be? Was I the only one that got drunk? And I am sick of the words my husband will say to me….
“so when should we to talk about last night?… what plan are we up to?… plan Y:6? Why can’t you just stop drinking when everyone else does?”
Well now it is plan Z….. giving alcohol the kick.
*p.s. I know dipsomaniacally is not an actual word but I think it perfectly describes how I drink after the first few – like a dipsomaniac!
For more about me and my alcohol-free life on the high seas visit kalipickle